Picture Book Recap!
“Now that’s how you kill your mother”
V’s second season came to a bloody end last night, rather spectacularly with enough CGI and glorious carnage to keep any red blooded male happy! Not only was it nasty and shocking, but the most obnoxious character in television (literally) was slaughtered in a beautifully executed death.
I’ll sum up the boring stuff in that the Fifth Column had a plan to assassinate Anna by staging her daughter’s kidnapping and setting up Lisa to kill her mother. The plan hinged on Lisa being capable of killing her mother, a plan involving many V’s including Marcus and a freed Diana. However when the time came to kill her mother she froze and let Anna manipulate her using those cursed human emotions. Lisa’s epic fail at matricide paves way for the ensuing bloodbath. Sidebar – I totally thought Anna was going to kill Lisa when she entered the warehouse and blame the fifth column for the murder.
Anna’s first act upon returning to the ship with her traitor daughter in tow was impaling her mother Diana as she was announcing her glorious return.
I have to say it’s a little disappointing to have the original series star Jane Badler on board for the entire season only to have her stew and plot in a cell for 9 episodes before getting impaled. After killing her mother and discarding her like a used condom, Anna turns to her unmatricidal daughter Lisa and says “That’s how you kill your mother”. Oh Snap.
Not enough death for you? Me neither. So right after Anna re-seizes control, Ryan goes on a hunt for his daughter – the motivation for literally every move he made throughout the series – and finds his rapidly aging brainwashed half-breed daughter. She was not very happy to see him, her mind filled with Anna’s anti-Ryan propaganda. Within seconds her tail was out and against her father pleas she started to strangle him. The look in Ryan’s eyes as his daughter was killing him was priceless and is indicative of how good the Morris Chestnut really is. The moment his neck snapped my jaw dropped. V was going for broke, and I was reaping all the benefits. Goodbye Ryan Nichols. The screencap below is right after he died. LOVE IT.
Anna still needs Lisa to have sex with Tyler and give birth to the next generation of Vs, right? WRONG! Anna doesn’t need Lisa one bit – she’s been incubating one hell of a nasty future Queen in an egg that no joke looks EXACTLY like enormous veiny nutsac. Look:
Gigantic scrotum right?
Last night we were privy to the birth of the new V princess which gave us our first views of the Vs minus any skin at all. It was gross. In the best possible way.
Anna was pleased with her new daughter and ordered Joshua to make her look exactly like Lisa so that she may mate with Tyler.
Anna didn’t kill Lisa 1, rather she imprisoned her in the same place she held Diana and tortured her with watching Lisa 2.0 and Tyler get it on.
Except when Anna said torture she really meant torture as Lisa 2.0 had different plans for Tyler. LIKE KILLING HIM
I’ve constantly belittled and hated on Tyler and Logan Huffman, the actor that plays him; Tyler was both the obnoxious martyr and the damsel in distress. He was a whiny, indignant, cloying teenager. Even his hair was horrible.
Logan Huffman had NO chemistry with Laura Vandervoort. He was prone to tricks from the Shane West school of eye acting and he had a face I constantly wanted to punch. During the first season I complained one of the reason for the reboot’s failure was the inability to relate to Tyler, and disliking Erica for having a stupid son. I am so happy Tyler is dead. So goddamn happy – If he’s not on my year end list of deaths I’ll be shocked. If V continues, it’ll be better simply because Tyler is dead. Elizabeth Mitchell would be great as the mother out for vengeance for her son’s death – it would add a real depth to her character. Gosh Im- Im just so happy!
Where’s Tyler’s insanely overprotective mother when his son was being seduced and murdered? She had a bag thrown over her head and was taken to see Lars Tremont, played by guest star Marc Singer, the other star of the original V, he’s the mysterious leader of an international group of government agents set on stopping the Vs.
They have a super secret head quarters a mile under Manhattan, where they’ve taken Erica. This is kind of a game changer (not that killing the protagonists only child isn’t) that brings a whole new layer to the series. If V were to be granted a third season, this new agency would open the plots up to more international settings (not that it matters when the show is a green screen addict) and bigger stories.
The episode ended with a few cliff-hangers.
Anna was able to synthesize the voice of the hostage taker and discovered it was Chad Decker (Scott Wolf). Last we saw him he was being lead into Anna’s lion’s den to an unknown and most likely painful fate.
Hobbs disappeared after Lisa’s botched the assassination attempt. Where is he?
Anna decided to bliss the world, but wasn’t strong enough so Amy, fresh off murdering her father helps in the bliss. Anna cried blood forEVER. It was so giddily gross. Morena Baccarin makes a blood soaked face as sexy as Anna Paquin.
And Erica emerged from the underground lair to find the world gazing up in awe and basking in the light of the bliss. Including Father Jack! AHHHH
I hope V survives. If the last 25 minutes of last nights episode were any indication V wants to live. Plus it set up having DOUBLE the Vandervoort when we were introduced to Lisa 2.0. And if Fringe’s Fauxlivia Dunham and The Vampire Diaries Katherine Pierce prove that all evil Dopplegangers do is make things better, especially when they’re gorgeous bombshells. If it was the end, it went out in a blaze of glory killing THE most hated (Tyler), and one of the most loved characters (Ryan) in totally go for broke awesome ways.
Dear V Producers: If this was indeed your last episode, I can’t thank you enough for giving me and those like me the satisfaction of seeing Tyler die. You listened to us, and we’re thankful.
And one more time to relish the joy!