American Idol Top 12 Rankings!

Thank god Ahshthohnh Jones was eliminated. She was god awful, and not surprisingly was certified and ranked THE WORST by TVocrats. So far I’m one for one, but I have a feeling my number 12 will scrape by again. It was a rough week, some faves fumbles small (Lauren’s meh Shania) and some were straight up messeed (Jacob’s awful wailing), all this and MORE is taken into account (including how awful McDonald was in the group number on thursday) when we give our Top 12 Ranking!

1. Casey Abrams (Last Week #1) A less than stellar first week in the finals isn’t enough to push this sweet voiced kid from the top perch – but a couple more iffy performances and he will be dethrowned.

2. Pia Toscano (Last Week #5) Homegirl jumped 3 spots thanks to a killer and pitch perfect rendition of All By Myself – They always say don’t take on Celine unless you can, and she can. My new name for her is MEGA pipes.

3. Lauren Alaina (Last Week #2) She phoned it in last week, plain and simple. Like Casey all she needs is one or two more weak performances to send her to the middle. She needs to bring back the effortlessness that made her a fave to begin with.

4. James Durbin (Last Week #4) He’s polarizing in the idol-communioty for sure, but I love him. I thought Maybe I’m Amazed was an inspired choice. 

5. Naima Adedapo (Last Week #6) She jumped a spot thanks to her original reggae remix to Umbrella (and Jacob Lusk’s epic failure), after a rough start the reggae gave her the confidence to finish hard.

6. Scotty McCreery (Last Week #7) He jumped a spot thanks to Lusk also, his Garth Brooks was fine and all, but he’s gonna drown in the coming theme weeks.

7. Haley Reinhart (Last Week #10) Someone else who was just fine. America disagreed with me and placed her in the bottom three. She has the talent, just barely any stage presence and bad song choices.

8. Stefano Lagone (Last Week #12) How did Lagone jump so many spots? One: He delivered a B performance in a night of C’s and D’s. Two: He was the strongest team player in the group performance. Three: Lots of people sucked.

9. Paul McDonald (Last Week #9) His performance was dreadful. I’d wanted to place him lower on the list – but there were just worse. For someone with his tone of voice, song choice is EVERYTHING. And he failed that.

10. Thia Megia (Last Week #8) At least she makes interesting arrangement choices right? Her shaky vocals did the terrible jazz arrangement of Smile no favours.

11. Jacob Lusk (Last Week #3) Wow. What a fall from grace a single AWFUL performance can cause. His I Believe I Can Fly was so damn bad I had to check to see if I was dreaming mid song. I placed him third last week after his soulful semi-final performance, but I firmly believe it was a fluke and this dude sucks. I guess we’ll see tonight. I have a feeling Jacob’s position will fluxuate the most as the season progresses.

12. Karen Rodriguez (Last Week #12) She represents everything that is wrong with the Idol Wannabe. She’s pandering, cheesy, comes across stupid, and has judges making excuses for her shitty performance. Honestly If I were Jennifer Lopez I would have ripped out her vocal chords lest she never destroy a Selena classic again. They should call her Yolanda Salvidar for the way she killed Selena.

Tonight’s theme is: The Year I Was Born. Again it’ll be interesting to see who fails at choosing a song with literally thousands in consideration for each.

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