Gossip Girl Recap “Look at Brad and Angelina. They take turns on top!”

P: LAST NIGHT WAS PERFECT FOR ME!!! it actually made me not hate Jenny – though I still hate Vanessa

and I love a good Serena take-down

J: I agree. Jenny is at her best when she’s a total bitch – but Vanessa; she is always annoying. Like she couldn’t even lie without feeling bad..

…and the Serena take down is so temporary…in like two weeks she’ll be back on top

P: I know. Grow a pair.

Juliet took it to the next level last night but lets get to that at the end

I hope not. Serena is a floozy. Her mother is right. There is no reason to believe her; she is given everything on a silver spoon but has no actual talents.

J: She has a talent for wanting what she can’t have

she has a talent for getting other people into trouble for her mistakes

P: thanks for compiling a list of why I don’t like her

J: she has a talent for using her friends

Those are all reason why I do like her. I know so many “Serena”s they’re hilarious people

P: this “MONUMENTAL DECISION” – re: Nate and Dan

J: hah

P: SERIOUSLY? Serena? SERIOUSLY?

let’s talk Nate and Dan for a second…how are they so lame now!?!?! What did they do to deserve such horrible dialogue

Nate used to be a real bro!

now he’s a bra

J: I don’t understand why every interesting plotline goes to Chuck

Nate and Dan could be interesting but the writers squander them

P: Dan will never be interesting

they just play baby-basketball and talk about their feelings

then they give each other handy Js

J: Hah

For sure – They’re gayer than Elliot and Eric.

P: the viewers want Blair and Chuck…with some dorota on the side

OMG ERIC!

We finally met his stallion

J: We’ve met Elliot before

P: They were cute

I guess he was too dull to remember. I still think about ‘Jonathan’

J: awww..  They offered him a regular contract and he turned it down.

P: seriously? Eric is leaving?!

J: No he’s staying but they wanted him to be a regular and he turned it down.

Now lets talk about the Witches plan….

thoughts?

P: interesting…

ok. GREAT CONNECTION TO JULIET AND BEN AND SERENA

FINALLY!!! aaaaaaand it made sense.

J: HUH?

P: I’m so happy it wasn’t out of left field. “aka. Serena killed someone” this was very believable

Ben, Juliet’s bro, is in prison for getting it on with underage Serena at boarding school

J: OHHHHH didn’t put that together

P: that’s what she’s blackmailing Lily about

well done Jules ::clap clap::

J: I am so stupid

P: remember…he’s 26 and was a teacher…

J: Yeah makes perfect sense

It’s brilliant.

P: it didn’t make sense to us last week. we didn’t think boarding school

finally, a plausible plot line

J: Finally

P: now the woman in me must say — it’s never OK for a teacher to take advantage of a student

so readers…if this has happened to u — TELL SOMEONE!

J: thanks lady

P: * but the viewer in me who can’t stand Serena would like to remind everyone that as lily said…she has a history of making terrible decisions

J: Okay so…What do you think will be V’s repercussions for taking part in the plan

P: well I think they will bust Juliet once Jenny and V realize Serena is missing – that was not part of their plan. When Juliet chloroformed Serena, the others thought the plan was already over.

Juliet is out for blood. Little J and V did not sign up for that

J: True, Jenny was more focused on Chuck and Blair anyways

P: ya I think ultimately, V will be the force that saves Serena

J: Barf. I fucking hate Vanessa

maybe she’ll take a bullet for her and die

P: ya but she’s banging the best character in real life, so unless there’s a piranha 3d part 2 she’s not going anywhere

J: How do you feel about the course Chair’s relationship is going?

(side note – Pirahna 3d was AMAZING)

P: NO NO!!!! if V dies for Serena we will have the WORST storyline of Dan and Serena and rufus to follow. ever.

I LOOOOOOOOVED how it went…and hated how it ended.

I was furiously screaming at my TV when they opted for friends

J: it can’t possibly last…

P: it better not. Chuck and Ava was the worst 3 weeks of my premier season

J: I kinda liked what that turned Blair into… I like her when she’s at her craziest

P: i guess. but i like them better as a tag team. taking down the world

they are a true power couple

let’s talk GIRLS INC. dumbest name ever

P: http://www.girlsinc.org/index.htmlcrap its real

J: wait? What? I’m confused?

P: girls, inc. mrs. archibald’s philanthropic project

she wanted Blair to be the face of girls, inc.

J: oooohhhh hahaha wow

So final thoughts; where do you see the Juliet plot line going?

P: No clue. Honestly I can’t even imagine at this point.

you?

She had Serena in what looked like a hotel room

also…worst character of the episode award goes to….RUFUS

J: I just wonder how long it’s gonna last. The writers usually tend to surprise with the conclusions to their long arcs, so I know it’ll be good, I just don’t know when…

yes worst Character of the ep is Rufus

and he’s in the running for worst of the season

P: Lily ruined him. The sweater vests too

J: But Lily is as awesome as ever…

P: she was great last night

Lily has it all, Rufus has nothing

Chuck has it all, Blair gets nothing

parallel power couples

J: OMFG

MIND F

P: when will Rufus realize he has to pull a B and go independent

J: He wont –

he’s always been the stick in the mud

and now that he’s married he’s not gonna change

he’s finally happy

interesting as dirt, but happy

P: NO WAY! — dirt is way more interesting

 

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3 responses to “Gossip Girl Recap “Look at Brad and Angelina. They take turns on top!”

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