Gossip Girl Recap “If KGB cant get me to talk, Chuck Bass has no chance!”

P: J, before we get to talking about our friends on the upper east side I think I should tell u the truth

I was super pissed that you put it in ‘the rest’ section of monday shows

it falls with the best, and only the best for senor chuck

J: fair enough

but I couldn’t know Monday’s episode was going to be the season’s strongest.

P: it was unbelievable. so much happened. and there was so much ‘stupid Serena

But lets look at Chuck and Blair first

J: you mean perfect Serena, classic Serena

but fine C and B first

Enemies with benefits… thoughts?

P: two week’s ago was perfect, CHAIR on the piano

at the end of the episode when they spoke of being friends I almost lost it. the show is much less fun when they aren’t fornicating their hate for one another

J: agreed! this show is also less fun when anyone else has a plot

P: you could even see how turned on they got when they were busting Juliet and Vanessa’s plans (remember V and Chuck’s little rendezvous a few seasons back?)

J: I’m still trying to forget

P: I’d like to know what Chace Crawford did to the writers to have his character so badly ruined

J: He cheated on Carrie Underwood

P: oh that’s right. No one cheats on America’s idol and lives to keep a good storyline

J: you said it….

but back to Chair…

P: …his plotlines are now strictly him calling Dan to talk feelings

right…CHAIR – LOVE THAT BASSHOLE

it seems as though they are quickly forgetting how horrible Chuck was

J: I loved how they’re approaching their relationship… it could be really worn out but it’s still fresh

P: its the actors

J: Westwick is great at playing a piece of shit that you want to be best friends with.

P: all the characters have had their over the top sexual relationships. but Chair takes it to the next level. their characters run deeper

Serena is a monotone one plot fool

im kind of happy to watch the loser brigade take her down

(J, lil’ J, and V)

J: haha

why you gotta be so harsh on my girl S

???

P: one thing REALLY bothered me though. I know the show isn’t supposed to be realistic, BUT THIS IS THE STUFF THEY BRING TO THE DEAN OF COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY

seriously???

and how did Vanessa get into the ballet event of the season!?

J: see that’s the kind of stuff i love… because when gossip girl tries to be real it bothers me, but when it’s ridic, it’s hilarious. Of course they would bring this to the dean!

P: my reasons for not like Serena are because she has shown no growth. she makes the same mistakes over and over

J: That’s why I think she’s great

people don’t’ change

P: and she’s monotone

J: not really

She is not. You are cray-cray!

P: you’ll never convince me to love her. Its not gonna happen. I even like ‘lonelyboy’ more… and that’s something

J: barf…really? that’s a little sad. She’s so much better than Vanessa, Little J, Rufus and Dan

P: like after AAAAALL THAT her and Colin decide not to be together

J: we can agree to disagree

P: wtf?! that makes no sense

J: Serena doesn’t have to make sense, she’s Serena.

It was hilarious though!!!

P: well Rufus has fallen off VH1s list of respectables that’s for sure

Worst. Character. Ever.

and he used to be world’s hottest dad with the coolest loft

J: that’s the eternal problem with GG it ahs a few great characters and many terrible ones

I love Georgina… think she’ll be back this season?

P: G is great! agreed

hmm I’m not sure. what I really want to know is…HOWD BEN GET IN PRISON?

WHO IS HE?

We know he used to be a teacher

J: I mean if he was a teacher and he’s 26, it would have happened since the series started which doesn’t make sense

4:42 PM I’m happy Juliet’s around for a while longer

P: I know. I did the same math

J: I have a big Katie Cassidy crush

P: I know, you say it alllll the time

I need to see her in other things. I’m not a Juliet fan

J: HARPER’S ISLAND!

but I am excited to see the loser brigade in action… if they HAAAD to bring Little J back I’m happy it’s for something interesting.

P: I think I just figured out why I hate Serena

J: go on…

P: Marissa Cooper syndrome

same character. same woe is me attitude

J: oh.. I get it.

But Serena is less damaged, and likes actual fun sometimes… and I like that she just keeps fucking up in the exact same ways.

P: She’s a whiner and she has nothing to complain about

J: Carter Baizen, Tripp

about every dude she’s ever laid her snatch on

4:45 PM P: ugh. and Dan is Ryan

J: But Ryan Atwood was funnier

P: and she was with Dan and ruined his character like Marissa tried to ruin Ryan being awesome

HOLY SHIT, THIS IS THE OC

J: its funny were comparing the OC to GG because they’re created by the same people.

well rather person, Josh Schwartz

P: I know

J: and he corrected one huge error he made continually on the OC

P: and it shows when I think about it, dammit

now I’ll never be able to separate

which error?

killing off both Caleb and Bart Bass (sadness)

J: Haha no, on the OC characters came and disappeared never to be seen again… on GG people keep coming back

It creates a world

P: coough*aaron rose*cough

J: haha fair enough…

but he was so lame

P: not in the book

(shit, secret’s out)

J: P, what are you saying?

P: I…read…

J: OMFG

 

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